I did have my pangs of panic and anxiety at first, before we had a date and location nailed down.  That was really stressing me out.  For me, that was one of the most important components.  I knew that I wanted a summer 2012 wedding at a venue that was able to house my family and friends from back east.  I was extremely anxious about securing a date and a venue, but once that was taken care of, I feel pretty Zen (we’ll see how that goes over the next year ). 

I mean, what else is there to it?  I feel like there are five main elements that need to be secured: date/venue, caterer/alcohol, band/entertainment, photographer and an officiant.  These are the things that are priorities for me. 

In my case, catering is provided by the venue, alcohol as well.  I haven’t nailed down specifics, but we have time there and the vendor is secure.  Officiant, check.  Now the two big tickets items that I feel I need to nail down are a band and photographer.  I feel that I need to go ahead and nail these vendors down for one reason, availability.  I would be bummed if the photographer that I am interested in would not be available because I dragged my feet on securing them for the date.  Same with a band, they can only play one gig per day. 

Flowers are the one thing that I do find myself dragging my feet on, mainly because, again, for me, it is the first place that I can skimp when it comes to budget.  While I absolutely want an amazing flower arrangement on each table, it doesn’t matter to me if that does not happen.  I would be devastated if I couldn’t have a band, but flowers on every table are just not a big detail for me.  

So for now, I am Blair, the Zen bride.  We’ll see how the next year goes

Cheers,

Blair

Blair has nagged at me for years to see wedding photos (since I’ve griped so much about my day). I refused to share…until now. In celebration of our special day, I ripped apart our wedding photo album and scanned in images to share with Blair, and our readers. (Quite literally, I ripped the photos out of the album…it was pre-digital age, so everything exists only in hard copy. I haven’t told my husband about this yet.)

But what fun is just sharing pictures? I’ve woven in some thoughts and advice for those of you planning your special day:

We had a photo session before our ceremony, which is when this was taken. We had an audience, so I don’t feel like moments were really captured…everything felt very staged. (My husband – even then – was not this publicly affectionate; the photographer made him do it.)

My advice: Whether before or after your ceremony, arrange to spend time together, alone, with your photographer. The part of our day that remains dearest in my heart is sitting on the tailgate in the early morning hours on a secluded part of the property eating bagels together.

My mother-in-law wore white. This frosts me to this day – almost more than my new brother-in-law grabbing the mic during the reception to propose to his girlfriend. My MIL claimed it was the only dress she could find that was flattering. Right.

My advice: Obviously you have control over the color of your maid’s dresses (even if you just tell them to choose a dress within a certain range of blue). For others who are on their own (like mothers in law), consider tactfully having a conversation about an acceptable range of colors. This is not to suggest busting into a Bridezilla moment. Over a casual dinner, calmly discuss your colors and suggest that dresses be searched for within this range.

I was married young…I graduated from college and two weeks later got married. I attribute my age for why I lost control of my wedding. Still thinking of us as “kids,” we’d get calls from our parents announcing the things they’d purchased, vendors they secured, bands they hired, etc. These weren’t questions about what our preference was, mind you, but rather simply informing us how our wedding was going to be.

The one thing that worked out fabulously was the hiring of a French pastry chef. Instead of a traditional cake, we had a pastry table. It got rave reviews from guests, and everyone was able to choose something to their liking. (Mark and I had a small cake to cut into for that moment.)

My advice: When it comes to cakes and desserts, don’t feel trapped by tradition. In a recent post we showed you a couple that served their favorite desserts (cookies and donut holes). I think you’d be surprised to discover how much guests actually appreciate a departure from wedding cake.

Regarding losing control of your wedding…that’s a tough one. We were balancing divorced parents having to come together for the first time in 15 years, and very different family styles. The best thing I can say is to stay strong (again, not witchy) on the things that are truly important to you, but give a little on the things that may be important to your parents (especially if they’re footing the bill).

Just as we were young, so were our friends. Most of whom started drinking while Mark and I were enjoying our bagel breakfast. So by the time the toasts rolled around, our best man was more than little drunk. And his speech made absolutely no sense…this picture captured me not in a moment of wedded bliss, but laughing at how completely awkward the speech had gotten.

My advice: Talk to the folks giving speeches ahead of time. Are they comfortable? Or are they completely terrified to the point that a) thinking of that moment is going to ruin the evening for them, or b) they’re going to drink themselves into a stupor trying to summon liquid courage? Better to not have a speech at all than to have a Wedding Singer moment.

At the Pavilion, we’ve seen some doozies, including the maid of honor taking the opportunity to express her dislike and distrust of the groom. So carefully consider the decision to appoint people to speeches. It’s always an option to just open a mic up for anyone who has something truly meaningful and heartfelt to say – instead of pushing it on one individual.

In this last picture, I love the adoring way we’re looking at each other – but wish that someone would’ve been care taking my appearance throughout the evening so my hair got tucked back in place, and my shiny-made-shinier by the Indiana humidity face would’ve been blotted and powdered.

My advice: The evening is going to fly by. You’ll be swept in a dozen different directions…trying to spend a few moments with your grandparents, being introduced to the family friends invited by your parents, asked by the photographer for a special photo op…I’m normally pretty high maintenance when it comes to my appearance; I blot, powder, and lipstick a lot. Except on my wedding day – they’re details I just lost track of in the swirl of it all.

So appoint a bridesmaid, or another friend, to every now and again approach you with blotting tissues and your tube of lipstick, or to invite you to join her in the bathroom for touch ups. To be honest, I can’t even remember using the bathroom that day because we were so busy. (A whole ‘nother topic…)

Also, make it known to the photographer that you welcome advice on things like “you have some hair out of place…try tucking that behind your ear.” The photographer should function as a director in these instances, so choose one with a personality you can work well with.

I could go on and on…but you get the idea! As much as we girls, as brides, believe it’s The Most Important Day of Our Lives, it’s one day. Special moments will happen every day in the forever lifetime of your marriage. So on the one labeled as your “wedding day,” have fun, and don’t try not to take it too seriously.

There it is. Tucked in between my Maxim, GQ, and my fourth time renting of “Transformers” from Netflix (I’m entirely too cheap to buy it).

There it is. The perfectly square, crisp white envelope, with the fancy, obnoxious cursive hand writing.

There it is. In the upper left-hand corner of said envelope, the couple’s name.

There it is. That sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. That feeling, knowing, that inside this envelope are those four words no single man wants to hear. I open the envelope.

There it is. You Are Cordially Invited…Bah! Cordially? Seriously? I’ve known you since we were three feet tall and you never use the word “cordially” before. Who do you think you are? As my internal rant at my friend continues, my mind wanders. Suddenly I’m in a BING commercial. “Cordial, cherry cordials, semi delicious, semi disgusting chocolate covered cherry. “Cherry, Cherry”, classic 1966 Neil Diamond Song. Diamond, “Blood Diamond”, movie starring Leonardo DiCapprio. I digress.

It’s always a Catch-22 when I get an invitation to a wedding. On one hand, I’m glad to have gotten one, just for the shear sake of not feeling left out. Everyone, no matter who you are, likes to be included. On the other hand, weddings notoriously suck! I hate them!

Now, I know you are sitting there, reading this, saying to yourself, “How can he hate weddings? Weddings are a special occasion; the joining of two people in the most sacred of unions.” Cut the crap! The only thing weddings are good for are getting Aunt Mildred liquored up on half a glass of Chardonnay and watching her bob and weave all over the dance floor while trying to remember the words to Van Halen’s “Jump.”

You see, the problem with weddings is, THEY ARE ALL THE SAME. Don’t believe me? The good people at TruTV, yes the former home of Nancy Grace and the current home of “Hardcore Pawn”, have provided 11 Reasons Why Weddings Are Dumb. Look at that list and try to tell me none of them are true, as a whole.

The problem with weddings is they lack creativity. As a guest, it always appears to me that somewhere, at a Costco, there is a whole “Wedding in a Box” section that bride and grooms can purchase. All you have to do is pick your colors. Look, I get it. This is your day. As the bride, you’ve been dreaming of this since you were a tiny little girl, putting on dresses and pretend marrying the boy next door. You’ve been to countless weddings yourself, sighing out loud, dreaming of the day when you got to have your own.

Well, now that day is coming! You want it to be a day that you remember forever. The rumor is, you barely remember the day anyway. So what are YOU going to do to fix that? How are YOU going to remember the day? (I put “you” in capital letters because the rumor out there also says this day is all about you.) Yes, that might be true. But, what are YOU going to do to make it memorable for US, as well?

You see, you invited us to share in this special day. I’m cynical, (pauses for EMT’s to arrive and resuscitate) but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to share in your joy and fun. It means that modern society has diluted a normally fun tradition into a mundane, boring, forgetful event for all parties involved. You don’t want your guests to walk away from a wedding with the only memory being the red Hawaiian Punch mustache on their kids’ face.

My whole point is, BE CREATIVE! There are plenty of websites, magazines, even TV shows that illustrate creativity. Sit down with each other and think about what is going to set your wedding apart, but make sure it’s something you both want and agree on, or at least are in the ballpark with the idea.

First and foremost, it is your day. Do what makes you happy. But for a change, maybe spend some time and think about your wedding from the point of view of the guest. What would we like to see, do, feel, experience that makes us a part of it? I can tell you, we are tired of DJ Forty3, that 43 year old business accountant/DJ from Akron, Ohio. For crying out loud, we know, he’s gonna hit us with “The Cupid Shuffle” and the “Chicken Dance” in the first 20 minutes of the evening. (NOTE: “The Cupid Shuffle” is the main reason I actually attend most weddings, well, that and bridesmaids.) Most importantly, though, creativity does not necessarily translate to expensive.

So, when your wedding day finally arrives, and you’ve put all of this thought and creativity into your day, I want you to think about me. That cynical friend that is sitting out amongst the crowd, staring at Aunt Mildred, shaking his head, wondering when the misery will be over. And then something will happen, something special, something that will have everyone, including this guy, finally saying, “There it is!”

Instead, we’ll share a fabulous idea from one of the most elaborate weddings hosted at the Pavilion. As the CEO and COO of Footers Catering in Denver, the bride and groom hosted nine different stations, from sliders to Asian to fried alligator tail at their reception – detailed in a program booklet. (The pictures below are of their program. I LOVE this idea. I especially like how they shared little tidbits about themselves throughout the booklet. Fabulous idea to steal, brides-to-be!)

Footers has an architect on staff who designed sets for each of the stations…so the Asian Bento Box station was literally a giant bento box. An actual tailgate from a truck was staged with beer kegs. It was over-the-top fabulous.

In addition to the food, April and Anthony incorporated things into their wedding that were certainly non-traditional, and they weren’t afraid to let the party be an expression of themselves…For example, they didn’t have a cake. Instead, they shared their own favorite desserts (cookies and doughnut holes) with their guests.

The couple also hosted a variety of activities throughout the evening, including the Newlywed Trivia Bracket. It was a great way for people to interact besides just standing around with a cocktail in hand. Photo booths are becoming quite the mainstay at receptions these days, but I love how – again – they personalized the idea by turning the pictures into their guest book.

The last page of the program was dedicated to thank yous…My mother instilled in me that hand writing thank-you notes is not just good etiquette, but just plain polite. So the fact that April and Anthony took the time to thank their parents and give a nod to everyone who contributed to making their day special was fabulous.

While the judge awarded the couple $1,000, the memories of their day live on in stills only. Given everything going on in the world today (our Japanese friends awash in the muck and devastation left behind from the earthquake and ensuing tsumani; Civil War in Libya; U.S. troops fighting in three operas…) not having a DVD of your wedding seems a little…we’ll just say it…trifling.

However, I can only imagine the shock of the poor bride anxiously sitting down with her newly betrothed to watch the video, and finding basically nothing. If it were me, that shock would quickly morph into anger over paying for a service not rendered. So with that spin in mind, here’s some things to ponder when signing vendors up for your wedding:

1. Get it in writing. Even if a vendor says they don’t have a contract and work on handshakes, insist that you need the details of the agreement (hours they’ll be on site, the specifics of what they’ll be providing, and the cost) in writing, even if it’s in the form of a confirmation email.

2. Clearly articulate your expectations and your timeline. I can’t tell you the number of times DJs have frantically come running up to us mid-cocktail reception asking if we know what time dinner will be served, when the first dance is scheduled for, and other details (none of which we have). Don’t be afraid to type up a card for your on-site vendors (the DJ, photographer, caterer, bar lead) stating the evening’s timeline.

3. Be honest and upfront with yourself and your vendor about your budget. Before making any contacts with caterers, florists, photographers or other service providers, sit down and establish a realistic budget. Trust us – no good comes of inflating your budget and hoping you’ll be able to spend $20,000 on catering – only to have to tell a caterer a month out that the number is really closer to $5,000. If they’re good at their job, vendors will explore options with you once they have a number in mind, and will give you a variety of options to choose from.

4. Designate the person who’s in charge that evening, and introduce that person to all of your vendors. You’re not going to want (nor have the time) to address all the questions vendors have throughout the evening. But someone needs to answer them. It’s usually best to select someone not in the wedding party, who’s responsible, and good with details.

Our last little bit of advice is not to treat vendors like the hired help. Yes, they are providing a service. No, they are not inferior citizens. They are highly trained professionals and artists partnering with you to make your day special. Approach all interactions with this sentiment in mind, and your vendors will do everything in their power to ensure your day is special, serene, and memorable (in a good way).

Blair has a Costco membership, and that was the headline on this month’s promotional magazine from the consumer warehouse. At first blush, it just seems silly. But in our site tours, we talk about places to save a buck during the wedding planning process – and Costco comes up a lot.

As in, “You’re welcome to bring in your own non-alcoholic beverages and water – we highly recommend making a Costco run for things like juice boxes, soda and bottled water.”

And, “In this closet are all the materials you can use to construct centerpices…vases, floating bowls, river rocks, beads…we have a lot of brides who opt to save money by purchases bundles of flowers from Costco instead of using a florist.”

This article from The Costco Connection has a lot more ideas – from purchasing favors to cakes to wedding dresses from the warehouse.

At the Pavilion, you’re welcome to self-cater, or work with a caterer of your choice. The article showcases vegetable trays and other appetizer platters. Even just purchasing trays from Costco for cocktail hour could save a bundle.

We have to admit to being a tad disappointed, though, that we couldn’t find a way to view the wedding dress collection online – nor see what the cost was. You have to make an appointment for one of their Special Events.

We often get on a cost savings soap box when it comes to wedding details…there are things about your wedding that you and your guests will remember for a lifetime. And then there are things that you spend a great deal of money on that no one even notices. Trust us when we say that no one will notice the beautiful Gerber daisies floating in bowl are from Costco. But the savings will allow you to spend money on the things that are important to you.

Click here to view the video.

Love, love, love this look in particular. It makes me want to chop my hair off and dye it blonde…

They’ve launched a section specifically for weddings. The possibilities are endless. Consider this Miriam Haskell necklace:

If I were really getting married on July 24 (like I submitted on the site), I would rent this piece. For just $150 it’s a fabulous complement to a sweetheart neckline – and that’s a mere pittance compared with the $1,400 price tag to purchase it. While you’re there, take a moment to flip through the Little White Dresses. Second “reception gowns” are all the rage these day, but not necessarily financially feasibly. You could wear the gown you cherish and purchased through dinner, but then change into this little number from Carlos Miele to dance the night away.

And not just for your maids (or for you!), gals on RTR’s Facebook page are sharing pix of their engagement photos and raving about the cute dresses they rented for them. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have many cute dresses in my closet (maybe it’s because we live in the moutains…?). I mean, I have some knit wrap dresses that come in handy from time to time, but it certainly would be fun to rent a dress that for a special photographic occasion (like engagement or anniversary photos) that I wouldn’t end up pawning at the local consignment store in two years…

As if all that’s not sweet enough, become a Fan now and you’ll be entered for some fun giveaways:

Blair keeps threatening to get married…when she does, you can bet I’m shopping here for a commitment-free frock!

Say “I Do” to an unforgettable mountain wedding experience at Winter Park Resort!

Pre-honeymoon while you plan your dream mountain wedding at Winter Park Resort! Rocky Mountain Bride Magazine and Winter Park Resort are giving away 2 FREE mountain getaways this ski season. Get a free night lodging slopeside in a studio at Fraser Crossing / Founders Pointe, 2 FREE lift tickets and dinner on us at the beautiful mountaintop Lodge at Sunspot.  Upon entering you will be automatically entered to win the Grand Prize of 2 FREE 2011-2012 Season Passes. Prizes will be awarded February 8, 2011. No purchase necessary, some restrictions apply, winner must agree to a tour at The Lodge at Sunspot and lodging accommodations. In order to win, you must register below.

Winners will be contacted via phone/email and will be posted here and include memorable photos from their skiing/riding trip at Winter Park Resort.

Click here to register.